help me to heal the wounds!

Although I posted a few blogs here
trying to give some nice thoughts
and maybe few lines of advices.

I still dont know how to apply it on my own.

The only way I could share is through my pen
and notes!

And other way, I consider blogsville to be my companions
because I realize I've known quite people and friend also here.

This is a story of my previous relationship.

I meet a guy when i came back to Philippines
we become close until he we get along everyday

we had a few nice dates.
we become even more closer.
and a couple of nice company.

until the time i fall inlove with him.
we did lot of things together.

We have a few fights until reality comes to our way
that's our relationship is just a "fling"
i know i love him.but i dont know if he loves me..
He only said that im special for him.

days,month past quickly,
i realized that im already deeply in love with him
and i can't stop to feel it.
i wanted always with him everyday..
if i can't see him i always call and text him

I feel like my heart wont give up,
but my mind keep on saying go for it!
because i realized our relationship is just nothing to him.
just he's there for me to have fun and he need something else.
I gave everything to him
but he didn't appreciate it.
my friends suggested "i will stop our relationship or else
im the eone to suffer in the end.

but i didn't take their advice,instead i keep going.
i strive hard to keep the relationship okay..
im the one made the effort..
until i realized that i need to stop..
so i decided to go back abroad again.
but im still hoping that we still be okay.


Few months after since i came back
i thought everything is still okay.
but one day i heard from one of closed friends,
saw him with another girl..
when i heard it,my tears kept on falling down.
i sob,knowing that many people will see me crying.
i call him and asked,he denied to me instead he said
it just a business partner and she gave me a business.
well stupid to say i believe on him..
until one day,i open my facebook to checked if
i have messages from my friends or who,s online
then i saw in homepages the photo of him and the girl..

that time i don't know exactly what i feel.
i can't explained.,i'm angry,hate and i'm fell betrayed.
i knew also that they been long time already.
i said to my self.oh no,i'm such a stupid..
for how many month that i gave to him what he want,
hoping that we will be okay,but instead he fooled me
oh i'm so hurting,he really made me stupid.
and he just used me to gave what he want..
now he treated me as if he didn't know me.
he treat me so badly after all what that i been nice to him
i said i don't deserved this kind of treatment.
what i feel know is hatred,he gave me a deep wound.
that i don't know when it heals..

never mind, though i know my heart
is still longing for some few lines
of explanation after all! (from him)
i deleted the him in all my account,hoping in that way
i can move on easily.
I did try to make friends with the girl
in FB but she did not accept me (well for what??)
>>>>>>>my heart will answer!!

Now, I don't know what my feeling is,
after i find them getting okay as the girl said...
and the girl is in his place this time.

Do u think I am envy???
>>>>nope I am not!!
I just feel like a little pissed since she did not
even accept me as her friend
Which i want too, (maybe to cure, or accept the
reality that we are just really friend)
I don't know, I am all mixed up!!
sometimes reality is our weakness!


I thought I'm moving on!!

that's when I saw their photo!


its hard to pretend your smiling,
when after all the causes of smile
knowing that your are bleeding inside!!


When you are deeply in love, heartbreak can be traumatic. If you are going through a period of heartbreak, you must accept the fact that life goes on and so must you. Face those feelings of rejection and anger by acknowledging them, dealing with them, and then achieving closure. The most important thing is to get in touch with reality.

<<<<< its quite hard